Expectations, Patience, Acceptance and Surrender

Expectations, patience, acceptance and surrender. Biggest themes of my life, and especially 2020.My level of impatience is directly corelated to my expectations, and expecting myself to show up in life has brought lots of rewards, and some impatience was needed at my current level of maturity to get things done – however when expectations are high on myself and others, it’s also where judgement creeps in. Over time this can kill the joy in any relationship, however well meaning. Life takes funny turns and lots of things are happening beyond my control now – not just with Covid, but Bufo just pushed the reset button in me a little faster, to accept, surrender, and process a lot of backdated inhibitions and aspects of myself I was suppressing. I was able to let go of a lot of expectations and with that many precious pieces fell away too, I’m still learning to surrender to the process and accept what I cannot control. We are all broken in some way it’s part of being human, accepting and loving each other unconditionally, truly, whilst knowing our boundaries and values, is God-mode. Being truly present means there is very little time for building huge expectations, something we are conditioned against because happy people don’t need to consume or sell their souls in a cubicle, and with presence comes discernment to tune out big government and expert propaganda. Society collectively is falling well below my expectations, has been since 911, and this society is made up of individuals who in some way enable this – again a fine line between my boundaries being violated like forced vaccinations, and surrendering to the awakening process underway, however painful that may look in the short term. Old systems have to die before new ones can be born. I say I’m here for the 1%, that’s really anyone who can see how broken the system is, and instead of throwing more energy into it (voting, taxes, consumption etc) want to look inward for answers and to build resiliency for the journey ahead. This process requires a lot of self examination and inquiry, patience and surrender – most days my life is pretty good, better than I could have imagined in many ways, yet I’ve cried more in the last few months than my whole life. When you express yourself openly, others may not accept this version of you vs the ideal they have in their head, and that’s ok. Be ok with being yourself, however weird and isolating it may seem, and don’t get too attached to the story – it’s just a ride. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to y’all, you know I only shit-post here so much because I love you all (in my own impatient and judgemental way haha) x

Image may contain: text that says "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. -Reinhold Niebuhr"